I've been doing a good bit of beating myself up since I seem to have the motivation of a sloth since this "shelter at home" order has started. I should be rehearsing, I'm not motivated. I should be practice, but I don't want to. I should be exercising more, but working out to video isn't as fun as playing tennis. I should be eating better, I don't really eat that bad so why should I?
There have been a million excuses of late.
I got an email saying Jesus Culture released new music. So I went and checked it out on Itunes. I listened to a couple songs, and so far I'm truly digging it. This morning I decided to listen to a song or two after devotion time and I landed on the song Still in Control. I immediately looked up chords and found it originally written in A (yes, my best range). Suddenly I have motivation. Not to mention all these consecutive days of rain are really making me appreciate when the sun is shining.
Most important;y above all, it is my reminder, My God Is Still In Control.
Yea, he really is. Everything seems so out of control right now, but I can take peace in knowing that it doesn't really matter how I feel, and it doesn't matter if I'm having a blue moment, and it doesn't matter that the finish line is not in sight, I just need to trust in the one who sees this finish line. That even when my motivation is lacking, in God's perfect timing I will have new motivation.
When I was in my car accident a friend told me to enjoy the downtime. I have to admit I got quite mad. Why on earth would I enjoy being injured? That's not what she meant. I understand that now. We spend so much time running the hamster wheel we just don't always take time to just be. We are finishing up the school year, I teach history online, and I'm so busy on the tough subjects that it is literally all I've been doing. Well class prep and disinfecting. We need to do the same now. I don't like being still and I really miss the tennis courts, but, last night, I put down the history book, made some popcorn, and grabbed a puzzle. Just relaxed, which I have a hard time giving my permission to do.
Ecclesiastes 3:1
There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens.....
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